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about

On the thirtieth of January 2015 Duncan, Nicola and Stewart travelled to Glasgow to see Cahalen Morrison and Eli West. The support that night was the wonderful husband and wife duo Jason and Pharis Romero. Pharis’ banter between songs was so beguiling that Duncan amused his travelling companions with impressions of her on the train ride back to Aberdeen.

Chief among her repertoire for aping was the story her grandmother told her of how to protect yourself from cougar attacks. Her theory was that cougars will shy away from eye contact and so in order to protect yourself from being attacked from behind you should sew eyes in the back of your hat.

Pharis also has perfect pitch and so instead of using a guitar tuner she would periodically emit a sustained note. Jason, who incidentally had never seen a cougar until he moved from his native California to British Columbia, is a banjo player. As banjos are notoriously hard to tune it followed that they made a funny pairing - He with the banjo, her with the perfect pitch.

Some days later Duncan and Stew found themselves together at Choad HQ and Stew pulled an acoustic guitar off the wall and sung the first line of the chorus. Things were added that rhymed with "cougar" and then this song existed.

We hope Jason and Pharis like it if they ever hear it.

lyrics

I ain't never seen a cougar
I used to live in Californier
now I live in Vancouver
and I've definitely seen a cougar

I ain't ever seen a cougar
Until I moved from Minnesuter
No I ain't never seen a cougar
but now I've got this cougar hat

Grandma says you've got to sew eyes in the back of your hat
in case you see a cougar
Grandma says you've got to sew eyes in the back of your hat
in case the cougar it sees you

I ain't never seen a cougar
but there's a pic on my computer
it's a bit like Freddy Kruger
'cept in my nightmares it's a cougar

I put my finger up my nose and I
I pulled out a booger
I went to flick it out the window,
well you know what?
that's when I saw the cougar

Grandma says you've got to sew eyes in the back of your hat
in case you see a cougar
Grandpa shoots them with a German pistol from World War II
yep, it's a Luger

Ain't it crazy how a girl with perfect pitch chooses to marry...
a banjo player
Ain't it crazy how a banjo player manages to marry...
someone who's seen a Cougar

I've got perfect pitch



I've got perfect pitch

credits

from Songs in the Key of Vitamin C (Digital Deluxe Edition), released August 2, 2019

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Depeche Choad Aberdeen, UK

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